Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Make sure you subscribe to our Youtube channel so you don’t miss any upcoming tales. Episode 2, “Cutthroat Convo” is COMING SOON!!!

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Ever wonder what its REALLY like for single guys out on the dating scene?

Well wonder no more – the new series, DC Tales is on the way!!! The hilarious new series about dating told totally from the male’s point of view is finally here!  The series will feature reenactments of those challenging and most awkward moments taken from REAL life dates in the DMV gone horrible wrong. For so long ladies have asked why do men do this and why do men do that, well now see it for yourself. Go inside a man’s head, and maybe learn why some of your own dating experiences have turned out the way they have.

P.S. Be sure to subscribe to the “Ashfordjthomastv” channel on Youtube so you don’t miss one episode.



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What do you get when you mix Hill Harper with Chris Rock? No idea? Well, men neither but here is the first inaugural episode of Note 2 Self. ENJOY!!!

P.S. Be sure to subscribe to the “Crown Thomas” channel on Youtube so you don’t miss one episode.




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Yea…I know I’ve been slacking but just like Dwyane Wade’s ex wife, I’ve been working on ways for the world to better notice me. In other words, HGHI is getting an upgrade!  

They say people don’t read anymore but they certainly do listen, right? Well, to accompany my blogs, I will now be adding a tag-a-long video series called “Note 2 Self.”  

The purpose of N2S will be to expand on some ideas in my blogs and foster more dialogue amongst the HGHI community and beyond.  So basically, it’s just one man’s poor excuse to try and get his hands on some blog awards, eh!  And if that doesn’t work some blog/book groupies, straight Hill Harper style! [Isn’t that how it works, anyway lol?]

I’m not serious, but just in case I am be sure to check out N2S COMING SOON!!!!!

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A long time ago in a land far, far away…a man once said, “He whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”  In DC, however, a guy may needeth a GPS.


“Put your hands to the constellations                                                                                        The way you look should be a sin, you my sensation                                                            I know I’m preachin’ to the congregation                                                                               . We love Jesus but she done learned a lot from Satan.” — K. West 

After more time than it takes to elect a black President and much less than it will take Wale to convince me he’s a credible artist, I have somehow moseyed my way back to the DMV.  And booooyyyy, have things changed.

Following a four-year and some change hiatus: the Redskins are an “Any given Sunday” away from the playoffs; corners where Wales (the beltway version of Shawtys) once serenaded passersby with go-go music have been relieved by khaki-wearing, violin-playing white guys; U st. looks less like Chuck Brown and more like Chuck Norris; and the White House has black kids playing in the backyard on a regular basis!  Pretty dramatic, huh?

TH08-DOG_US_OBAMA__1261728fBut no matter the city’s number of new skyward condominiums, row house renovations or “under construction” signs seen dangling all across the former “Chocolate City” like urban xmas ornaments, one thing has survived my down south sabbatical–its one of a kind women.

For those unfamiliar with the regional, largely migrant, undomesticated species of woman commonly known to roam the terrain of our nation’s capital, let me define it for you:

          D.C. chick (noun): — pronounced dee • cee chihk

1. the cinematic love child of Gabrielle Union’s character from Deliver Us from Eva and Taraji Henson’s character from Think Like A Man (See Omarosa); a taste for the extravagant like Trinidad James who outwardly idolizes Michelle Obama but secretly envies the lifestyles of the Basketball Wives.

2. Also see indifferent; and all episodes of “What Chili Wants”

Trinidad_James_All_Gold_Errythang-front-largeFor a better illustration, take an encounter I had at a lounge downtown.  I was suited up–feeling great, feeling good–conversing with a young woman that had all the characteristics from afar that her last name might be Huxtable, when I was interrupted mid-sentence by her girlfriend.

“What’s your name?” the woman said, carelessly flipping her hair away from her face.  She was manicured, as they usually are, accompanied by tall heels and an air that seemed to suggest entitlement.

“I’m Curtis.  And you are…?”  She gave no response; only a head-to-toe then toe-to-head ocular exam usually reserved for newborns and perps in windowless rooms on Law & Order: SVU.

“Soooo, Curtisss,” she said, with all the benevolence a royal might bestow upon a town peasant.  “Are you educated?”

[**Record scratches**]

Taken aback by her comment that seemed more befitting of a Roots trilogy than any casual happy hour conversation, (like Key & Peele) I looked this woman dead in the eye sockets of her soul, and said…

Hold on a second…[ looks both ways ]

I said…well, not really, but you know what I would have said!

Seeing as how I was outnumbered and have seen wayyy too many VH1 reality show reunions, I salvaged what bit of gentleman-ness I had left in my personal reserves and replied, “Umm…come again?”

You see for so long the conventional dating wisdom in D.C. has been based on pure math and math alone: un male with degree + mucho females with degrees + mucho females with degrees = Don’t stop, pop that, don’t stop! (aka a French Montana rap video-styled) dating scene for said male.  Only thing, this narrative, much like French Montana’s rapping career, couldn’t be any more misleading.


In a city where, according to a 2009 Pew Research study, a woman has almost as good of a chance of getting a ring as a Hobbit, there is an assumption that men, being men, are clinging to their bachelor statuses for dear life and simply denying women any sort of companionship.  When in reality, instead of trying their luck in the relationship realm–many women dissatisfied with their options are echoing the sentiments of Sweet Brown memes–opting to invest their energies into pursuits they have more control over like their own careers or OWN networks.

With a generous male to female ratio, one would think D.C. had all the makings of some sort of matrimonial promised land for men; but men, too, have a low marriage percentage of just 28%.


So is dating in D.C. really as taxing as it sounds?  Well…I have heard some compare it to urban terrorism.  But like dating in any other city, D.C. is bound to have its flaws, right?

So whether you hate L.A. Dudes en masse like Issa Rae or D.C. Chicks, I think we all should be more committed to discovering positives within everyone.

And as for me, with the median first marriage age for men in the district at 32, I seem to be right on schedule for a new facebook relationship status.  But, in the meantime, if it does take a little longer than expected–lucky for me I’m educated.

Here’s a peek at the much discussed new show from Issa Rae set for early 2013:

Want more HGHI? Become a fan of HGHI on facebook and follow me on twitter @Hesgot2haveit

See you on Dec. 28th for my next post “The Male Biological Clock, Yes, Men have them too”…. 

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No one dates in a vacuum. 

And whether we want to accept it or not, many of the ways we respond to each other and attitudes we display in our dating/personal lives are driven by the goings-on of the many swirling around us each day.

For instance, fellas, have you ever been at the movies with a date only 44% pre-screened, when the leading male character pulls some out of this world, Action Jackson-type move to demonstrate his undying, Trey Songz yodeling-intense love like jumping on top of a moving car or disarming a robber with a mere broom handle?  And in response, had your date let out a noise from the base of her throat like Shari Headley’s character Lisa McDowell that seemed to suggest her saying–


That’s a real mannn, right chea!  He goes for what wants,


and then turns to you and says in the sweetest voice, “Would you do that for me?”  You almost get a kernel lodged in your throat from the question but realize she’s actually kinda serious.  So you look her deep within her eyes and smile for assurance, thinking all the while, “Yea, if you get me a stunt double.  Wth!”  (Google movies: Coming to America & Hitch, available on DVD and Blue ray)

Moreover, have you ever sat a little too close to the stage at a comedy show, when the comedian suddenly felt the need to get his “Steve Harvey” on with gems like “Is this your woman?” and “Do you love her?” and who can forget, “Ladies, you know how you can reeeeaaaally tell if a guy is into you…?”  Like an animal sensing danger, you take cover opting to bury your head in a mound of caribbean jerk wings and sauce, knowing all the while the night just took a major detour

And without fail, on the way home, your date asks “So was that true what he said about men?”  Earlier, when you bought the tickets, you thought you would get some points by taking her to see Charlie Murphy.  It was something different, plus, you wanted to hear more of Charlie’s hilarious “True Hollywood Stories.”  But by night’s end, what you got was a front row seat to a live taping of the Oprah show redux.  And in response to the “question of no return,” you slowly tilt your head to look out your window of discontent, thinking “I should have NEVER gave you n!%#as money!

As for the ladies, have you ever been at work when one of your co-workers had a large bouquet of flowers delivered (and subsequently posted it on Facebook, of course), and despite trying to be happy for her, you couldn’t fully because your mind couldn’t recall the last time the guy you’ve dated for over a year even left you a card, let alone a post-it?  

See oftentimes, we fall victim to the interactions and subtle innuendos at play around us.  See a man and woman feeding each other while at your local restaurant?  It doesn’t mean your relationship sucks because you don’t do it.  See a couple on Facebook that somehow seems to find the motivation to turn every weekend into a couple’s photo album with added Instagram special effects?  Again, if your man or woman thinks stuff like this is both gaudy and ridiculous then it’s ok, too.

Unfortunately, for some of us, when we see things like this, little mental alarms can go off sending messages that retweet over and over in our heads questioning who we’re dating, how things should operate, and why we have remained with them. 

So much so, that we can overlook what our own journey has built.  We forget that just as we’re trying to either size up and compare our relationship to everyone else’s, others are honing in on our lives wishing they had what we had just the same.

So whether it’s the brother that maybe unsure about taking a bullet or jumping on a car for you or one that happens to stutter when confessing his love for you at the comedy club in front of a crowd of strangers, please remember that it’s ok.  Though the world around us may corner us from time to time creating those awkward moments, it doesn’t mean that what we have isn’t worth having.

As for me, I don’t mind having flowers and edible arrangements delivered to you to show that I care. But unless he’s the McDonald’s hamburglar you can forget the idea of me confronting an armed man with a stick.  Hey, would you want a number 10 fish sandwich to be your last meal.  I didn’t think so either.

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