Posts Tagged ‘Obamacare’

SPOILER ALERT: It takes 16 days of a #Govtshutdown for the leaders of our banana republic to have a kumbaya moment and not default on our national debt. But when was the last time you reached across the aisle in your own house? Has contention become the new compromise for us, too?   


Strange days in our nation’s capitol…strange days indeed.

Now that the national recurring nightmare known as the #Govtshutdown has become a somewhat distant memory of our 24-hour news cycle, and Americans, from sea to shining sea, are back to work and once again too busy to focus on the antics of the “The Real ‘House’ Husbands of DC” (aka the new, dysfunctional reality show from the C-Span channel formerly known as our U.S. Congress), I think it’s about time we pon the replay and analyze just WTH happened and what it might say indirectly, if anything, about our own relationships.  

**Side note to all the couch potato/loveseat gladiators out there: Is it just me, or was it kinda peculiar that just when Washington actually needed a real life Olivia Pope-type figure, Scandal just so happened to come back on the air? Does Shonda Rhimes have an upper room security clearance we don’t know about?…but I digress** 

nnnnnnIf you recall, during the 16 day shutdown, many furloughed workers decried the historic political stalemate, invoking the famous sentiment of the late Rodney King, “Why can’t our leaders all just get along?”

But in response, many Tea Party Republicans (mostly from places where the sweet tea will give you instant Wilford Brimley-pronounced die-uh-beat-us) channeled the side-eyed spirit of Sheree Whitfield of RHOA fame, asking, “Who gon’ check me, boo?”

Yeaaa, really.

Not since Miley Cyrus’s hapless and booty-less assault of Beetlejuice at the VMAs in August, had Americans been so embarrassed and disgusted of Obama’s nation.


Now for the less politically-inclined, here’s a quick non partisan recap of the two sides of the shutdown:

In my best Michael Buffer voice…

In the blue corner, hailing from the southside of the Chi (stand up)! The home of Keef and Kanye, with an oratory only second to the Kinnng himself. Weighing in at a solid 165 lbs…he’s lean, he’s the American Dream — he’s the man that put the ‘Obama’ in Obamacare. Let’s hear it for Mr. 44, your President, Barack “The Rock” Obamaaaaaa!  [Applause]

Michael-Buffer-internet-radio-royaltiesAnd his opponent across the ring, fighting out of the red corner…representing H-town to the fullest. He’s a one-man wrecking crew for the Tea Party. He’s kingpin of the Obamacare haters…weighing in at a staggering 192 lbs of pure hate for gov’t programs. He’s Sarah Palin in a business suit! “Mr. Conservative Canadian”, himself, Senator Ted “no new friends” Cruuuuuuzzzz!!!! Now ladies and gentlemen…lets get ready to rumbleeeeeee!!!

Well, it sorta went like that. (Hey, this isn’t the NY Times.) 

Anyway, as popular elected officials, I’m sure both men felt very entitled to their positions.  But I bet if we were to look just underneath the surface of it all, (past the telegenic smiles and poll tested one-liners) like the rest of us, both were probably just afraid of what the future might hold if the reigns of power were tipped too far towards the other.

michelle_obama_bangs_white_shirt_joe_raedlegetty_images_18i880t-18i8811And with such extreme gridlock and party division, I bet that neither felt comfortable enough to even come off of their positions the length of Michelle’s bangs (in other words, just a couple of inches longer than necessary). Thus, bringing us to our issue at hand…

Whether you’re a veteran dater or veteran pol, you should know by now that in order for any semblance of progress to be achieved in the state house or in your own, compromise is in order. It’s essentially the dirty, late night Trey Songz-esque song adlib phone convo and subsequent make up sex that recharges almost every relationship battery.

But unfortunately, due to past trial and heartache, several depressing post-K-Ci Mary J. Blige songs, Drake’s emo-raps, and Keisha Cole’s / Jazmine Sullivan’s whole catalog combined, so many of us have begun to question and abandon pursuing the requisite courage/faith needed to find that rich and gooey necessary center. 


I fear that, well, because of fear, itself, too many daters have settled into the idea that holding each other’s principles for ransom and hijacking the total affair is now an act of practicality and sound reason. Now if any of this sounds remotely familiar, then you may be dating a relationship republican.

These are the kind of daters that generally overlook olive branches, and see most things as an all or nothing enterprise. They are not necessarily selfish, as they are afraid of succumbing to another’s will.

In no time, they can take an otherwise strong and independent man or woman, and almost overnight turn him/her into a strong candidate for a deep, eyes closed, head hug from Iyanla on ‘Fix My Life’.  SAD.

fixmylife They are keen on making you their emotional hostage–pulling you away from your friends and family, making you question your judgment and former nonnegotiables all in the name of wearing the unattainable crown of the “good guy” or “perfect girl.”

Next thing you know, you’re liable to wake up one day as the tragic protagonist of a Tyler Perry flick with some lightskinned girl hanging her clothes up in YOUR CLOSET without you knowing. (You know the ones that look like they could be related to La La.) And much like the post-engagement Kanye, pretty soon your friends and fans may not even recognize you at all. Can I get a SAD, two times? SAD, SAD.

yeAt this point, you may be wondering, “How can anyone be expected to resolve all of this and salvage the relationship in some nice and neat made-for-TV way?” Well, I’m glad you asked, because in all honestly, you can’t. If you want my advice: pretend you’re a member of TLC and your mate is Pebbles and get the hell up out of there!

And for goodness sake, try and date a Democrat from now on. If Scandal has taught us anything, it should at least be that, right? Ijs lol!

Read Full Post »

Though a pick up game may win over the hearts of women on the big screen, in real life Gwen Guthrie said it best, “No romance without finance.”

Its the economy, stupid.  Sound familar?

Now unless you somehow managed to spend the last couple of years under a rock (no, make that a boulder) or in intensive care recovering from an unexpected urban Mortal Kombat-style uppercut (cause apparently it happens, you know), chances are you may have noticed that this great red, white, and blue ”home of the brave” of ours has been a tad bit more blue of late.

The reason?  Well, to put it more succinctly, our economy is in a recession and according to economic reports has been officially since late 2007.  And though most news outlets (except FOX NEWS, of course) indicate things have improved since our President and first lady became someone Will Smith and Zoe “I’ll play any black woman I want, dammit” Saldana might portray, we all know the old line, “When America has a cold, Black people have the flu” still rings true for many African-Americans.

But did you know when Black people have the flu our dating etiquette can contract pneumonia (and no, it is not covered under Obamacare)?

With wages flat lining and the current national unemployment rate for African-Americans mirroring that of a small third-world country, its no wonder a lot of singles are now opting to think more like a woman named Suze Orman than a man named Steve Harvey—90-day rule, meet the $30 dinner date regulation!  Take for instance, a story I read recently about a young woman in NYC.

Like a lot of us, she was up to her eyeballs in debt yet wanted to maintain some semblance of a life—and a dating one, at that.  So to tackle both, she decided she would up the number of dinner dates she went on each week.  Once up and running, in any given month she was going on about 20 dinner dates, or a date for each workday.  And after a few months, she had not only decreased her debt substantially, but saved $1200 in groceries.  Her secret?  She ate free on every date by making sure she never went on more than five consecutive dates with each guy.  Kinda pimpish, huh?

singles are now opting to think more like a woman named Suze Orman than a man named Steve Harvey

Now, I’m not suggesting anyone do this (mostly because its trifling), nor do I believe most women would even be up for sitting through the endless, nightly series of penetrating “figure you out” questions, rounds of lip dodge ball, and awkward pauses this type of carrying on would require.  However, I did want to make the point that in some way we are all trying to have it both ways: take care of business and still carry on as regular, especially the fellas.

For men, coping with this new financial normal has led to a new and altered form of dating, that I call coupon-dating or dating on a dime. Let’s just say its the more modern, more secular, and certainly more bootleg version of when Jesus took two fish and five loaves of bread and fed thousands of people.  Just imagine thousands of guys trying to making shrimp scampi money feel like a 3-course lobster dinner experience. Yea, really.

But why do guys feel the need to through all this trouble?  Well, through personal experiences and the exponential household growth of BET over the years, a lot of men have unfortunately seen the movie SoulPlane several times and been convinced, to the point its debatable, that there’s “no romance without finance” and quite possibly “bands a make her dance” especially in Houstatlantavegas.  So for the many new inductees of Broke Phi Broke fraternity, Inc. the last few years have been a hard lesson in David Blaine-ism: magically excruciating.

So what is my advice for daters looking to overcome the financial dating crunch?

Well, in an ideal world, I would suggest:

1) Men buy smart cars.  These cars are not only affordable but give good gas mileage and are very easy to park in the city. (But sadly, I know probably only 2% of black woman will EVER be compelled to speak to you in this car unless you accidentally leave your trunk open, and those women probably have not even immigrated to the US yet lol!)

2) Cook more at home rather than eat out. This way you will save money and more than likely share more romantic moments in private.  (A picnic at the house, fellas, especially during the winter months can go faaaaarrrrrrr, trust).

3) Tour the Netherlands more.  I know the tradition is for a guy to pay for his date, but going Dutch can allow for both parties to feel like they are investing equally into any future possibilities so to avoid any resentment if things go sour.

And if you’re a guy who has not felt the pinch of the sluggish economy and feels more like a man when you are making it rain like Hurricane Sandy at the 5-star-whatever-of-your-choice, applying some wallet climate change couldn’t hurt you either.  Now, I’m not advocating that guys cheapen the overall date experience, but I do think going cheaper will help sustain our engagements in the interim till the economy gets better; and hopefully assist all of us in the long run with our bottom line.  And ladies, till things get better please know that channeling your inner-SWV “understanding” will be more than appreciated.  Besides, when gas cost $$$ and dinner is $$$$ + .20% of $$$$, what would you do?  Join Match.com?  Lord knows, a guy can’t date Suze.

Follow me @CurtisAThomas and @hesgot2haveit

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: